One day at a time. (We are nearly there)

Hey loves,

Hope everyone is all good and vibin’ high! As much as I want to vibe high on a constant lately it’s difficult when pressures of exams are around the corner. Beginning my last term at college today has made it all very real. Soon enough exam time will be here and Uni will be on the doorstep.

Such a strange feeling consumed me over my time off at Easter. Do I laugh or cry at the fact that I’m leaving the place that I have spent the last 6 and a half years of my life. It’s all of a sudden clicked and dawned on me. Expressing this strange soup of emotions to my friends that seem to all kinda feel the same. It’s a mixture of anxiousness and uncertainty of the future and wether we will get the grades we need but also wanting to be present and enjoy the last few weeks being around each other and being in college. It’s hard to do that when we know how close the horror of exams are.

I feel a sense of calm and a strange belief in myself that I am so proud of. I’ve always been a worry worm previously and never really handled pressure too well. But as I have grown I’m choosing not to allow external pressures to consume me and bury my head in the sand like before when I did my GCSE’s. I’m in such a better place now than I was then and it sounds cringe but that was the hardest time in my personal life & I managed to pass all those exams, so I’m trying to imagine what I can do with the clearest & wisest head on me that I’ve ever had.

This time I feel more ready than ever & I know that it’s difficult to self motivate but I am motivated to succeed and that shows in the way I choose to conduct myself, it’s something to be proud of and it’s something I should give more credit to myself for. I feel at 17/18 we feel like everything is permanent we can’t see passed a feeling of dread, a feeling of doubt or a feeling that we just can’t do it! But I can guarantee each time we do overcome it and we can understand why we felt those feelings. Of course we can overcome anything we put our minds to if we choose a growth mindset rather than a victim mindset.

I can’t stress how important it is to me to just try as hard as I can to take one day at a time, taking each day as it comes. This way I’m not wasting what should be a beautiful day by stressing or getting caught up in the future. I try to use the moment I’m in to make he future what I want it to be. But there’s no use in trying to control the future or trying to manipulate the past, it’s gone and we can’t change a thing. It’s also so important for me to remind myself that I am most productive when I am relaxed therefore I’m doing what I can to just chill! Not taking my thoughts too seriously just continuing to take a deep breath every now and then during the day if things are getting too much. Life is as hard as we make it & when I allow love to carry me, the outcome will always be a goodun. Not to worry, we’ve got it sussed 🙂

This was just a quick one (relatively haha) to let those who are feeling panicky or those who feel stuck not necessarily just about exams, you got this take things one day at a time like I do! It’s so important to focus on our mental health, when we do this everything else will fall into place!! TRUST ME! What’s going on in our heads is invisible and it can sometimes be our greatest enemy because it is a constant fight sometimes to keep yourself grounded and sane! Lol. But all I gotta say is you got this..

I’m off to yoga now to ‘put down’ the day 🙂

Stay zen and all my love,

Mia Xx

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Following Inspiration

It is becoming more and more important to me to follow inspirations that come into my head from a snippet of a song, to something someone has said that particularly resonates with me and you feel like it’s creepy as you were feeling something similar. More importantly, the voice in my head that whispers just a jumble of words in the middle of the night which gives me the urge to wake the F up and write them down!

As some of you will know the way I deal with the things that go on in my life is to write. To write for me is to understand. To understand for me is to get through events, understanding my fears and my passions (the things in my life that I’ve been lucky enough to find and love).

Over this past week and a bit, being off college for Easter, the word ‘inspiration’ has echoed around my mind. People have previously been kind enough to mention to me that I am their inspo lately and I’ve always found it strange. This is because I have become strangely ‘uncomfortably comfortable’ (lol) in speaking my truth and sharing with others how I feel. My words come from a place, where from I’m not entirely sure, that help others (I hope). As well as just becoming a thing that people relate to. I feel an out of the ordinary sense of warmth when people tell me I’m an inspiration because I think Ive just become who I was always meant to be and the things I love in my life currently have found me or I have found them, just allowing me to be free and I think this is what living an inspired life feels like, just living ‘in spirit’ as it were!

As I was writing that then it weirdly had a flow and I believe that I am a part of something bigger as if who is writing is not me. This is gonna sound odd maybe but, being creative and always never really wanting to conform has always made me feel slightly lost and when I look back I never really felt like there was a place for me or the way I see things. Being myself now and following my inspiration has allowed me to create my own sense of belonging and lately I feel different, like I am placing my focus where it belongs and it is paying off, its allowing me to spiritually evolve somehow again, I’m not sure how but I sense dramatic growth in myself and its something I am hugely proud of. Why should I not be comfortable with who I am? These inspirations ‘flow’ through me for a reason and I am lucky enough to be recognising them, writing about them and living through them.

When I’ve been down in the past and of course I still have my days, I realise that It becomes very hard for me to see past what was showing up. Feelings wise and in physical form. When I wasn’t happy with where I was living my uncertainty and anxst was filtering through all the other areas of my life. When I heard the whisper of my spirit I just ‘knew’ somehow that I needed to see passed it as something temporary. I’ve learnt to relax with it and just know that I am where I need to be. Now I am glad to feel that that phase is over now and its ok to accept the changes in my life as well as knowing that this is what was needed to allow an even deeper spiritual transformation to occur.

It must be ‘meant to be’ if you like, for me to hear my spirit a little louder than maybe others do which has always made me feel different. Living in spirit is a life that allows me to be so aware and so deeply in tune to how I feel! I don’t see how I’m inspiring people because it comes so naturally to me to just be a gentle and open spirit. Or person if you’re not as deeply into souls and spiritual shiz like me, haha. It’s clear to see to me now that when you’re doing what you love, you inspire others to do the same.

I still notice that I berate myself a lot, I’m only human. But there’s no need to, not if I follow my truth and listen to the inspirations that guide me.

All my love & thanks for reading

Mia X

Destination Faith & Intention

Hey hey hey lovelies,

Today was a great day. I PASSED my driving test :)))) And with everything in my life up to now, I’ve learnt so much from today and the long ass build up to today. I now get first hand that there is such a power in setting an intention for yourself, and when you allow faith to follow you rather than fear, great things seem to happen!

I have never felt nerves like I felt this morning. But once I tuned in to what I needed to do to just GET THROUGH IT, a weird layer of calm came over me as if I knew I had it down. I’ve learnt even more about myself from today too. That I can in say a massive F-you to my anxiety because it wanted me to believe that everything was gonna go wrong today. But you know what, by pretending I was confident even when I wasn’t I became it.

I know now that I can choose whether to believe the negative shit that my mind tries to feed to me. I am being guided and I am capable, although my mind plays tricks on me on the daily. This once again is something that we face being human, do we listen to our mind or do we set an intention and let go of all the fear that is stopping us from achieving EXACTLY what we want to achieve.

At my yoga class my teacher always advises that we set a ‘sankalpa’ at the beginning of our practice. An Intention set by the heart and the mind something I seem to do naturally as well as feeling things strongly. On Monday night this just resonated with me more than ever. I aimed to be present on the mat and let my anxieties of my looming driving test fade. This was powerful and I will continue to transfer this into my daily life as I think its important to take life hurdles on day by day.

I find myself wondering now being a spiritual kinda gal that life has a tendency to make us get entangled in our worries about external matters. Its always pass or fail, good or bad when looking at it from a spiritual sense none of it really makes sense. I always look into things deeply and question everything which is why I don’t think these things really exist. My human side tells me if I fail then I should feel so negatively toward myself, I should berate myself. My spirit will always tell me that everything is temporary and that a test can be done until I ‘pass’ it. The outcome of anything tests, exams, relationships, do not define who I am, they have an impact on my life but they shouldn’t allow me to change the way I perceive myself. Its so strange being spiritual and being human in equal measures. We have to try and listen to our spirits more and this will lead the way to happiness and truth.

This sounds so bloody hippyish I know and I feel like its so hard to put this into words but I honestly believe that we should never be defined by our failures, our successes, nothing is ‘good’, nothing is necessarily ‘bad’. Us being human have to label everything that happens to us! Including me and whether I was gonna ‘pass’ or ‘fail’ today. I am so relieved and overwhelmed that the process is over but I’ve learned that its so so easy to get trapped in things that if we just have a little faith about, will go our way. Again, I had to learn to let go of my want to control the outcome. Once I let go (which don’t get me wrong is so hard to do), things went in my favour and I managed to beat my anxiety, my fear and this means I’m winning!

It always feels great to conquer a life hurdle, it means fear is conquered too. When I say I look deeply into what happens to me I mean that I can grow through what I go through so that I can better myself. In one of my previous posts I spoke about my Grandad passing away, he supported me all the way and today was no different. It seemed like one of the smoothest drives I had ever driven (apart from the horrific hill start that the examiner said made her neck hurt) amazing clutch control Mia ahahaha.  Seriously though, everything seemed to go my way. After I rang my mum to tell her I had passed she told me that on the radio was the song me and her chose for my grandads funeral – ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay which instantly made us both burst into tears. This for me felt like instant synchronicity and the fact that my grandad was there and that he would be so proud of me for smashing today and holding the belief in myself.

Today has been such a happy day and one I will remember forever. Its proof that when we want something we have to allow ourselves to feel and believe in an intention strongly, in our hearts and somewhere deep beyond our minds. There is such greatness in positivity, true faith (just like the absolute tune by New Order) and such a power in intention. Live by it and breathe it!

Love always,

Mia Xxx

Me and My Fears

Hey everyone,

Following on from my last post, wow I can feel such a difference in my happiness and my vibe. Since deciding to replace the toxic with only positive for my own benefit. What a relief! I had a realisation this week of how important writing has become to me and how it allows me to let go of my feelings for a short while, giving me a chance to make sense of what is actually going on in my own mad ‘ed. Haha!

I thought why not talk about my fears and how I want to tackle them and keep working on them. By writing from my inner voice I think my fears are threatened. I have always been a believer of a problem shared is a problem halved so talking is sometimes what you need to do to feel the weight of fear lift from your shoulders.

Uncertainty is a biggie for me. I think it stems from my mum and dad splitting up when I was younger. The uncertainty of why it happened to us and what was gonna happen next transcended into a fear and an uncertainty of the future. I guess this is why I suffer with anxiety nowadays although I’m learning that its ok to feel it and keep working on it.  Its taken me until now to get the relationship with my mum back to where it used to be and its even stronger now but I’m finding that life is a moving entity and relationships with people change, as I grow I feel the need to distance myself from those who stay the same.

Uncertainty manifests in social situations too. I find college hard some days and avoid crowds, always convincing myself that I’ll somehow make a tit out of myself.  People are shocked I feel this way when I tell them because I love to laugh and sing my way around but very often I leave myself drained because my inner self is telling me to hide and shy away from my true self – something I refuse to do. This stems from feeling as if I’m not in control, control is an illusion anyway and I am aware that total control is impossible. I just have to allow things to happen with a knowing that everything is happening as its supposed to.

I fear that one day I might empty myself of the love & energy that I so naturally give away. Which is why lately I’ve made changes in my life to make sure I will not, at this crucial time in my life, allow myself to get as low as I have been before now. I know that I can’t pour from an empty cup and I very often find myself being the agony aunt to others and to my family also. This is because I understand and people must pick this up and tell me all their problems! Haha, I love it but sometimes enough is enough for me because I fear that allowing people to take too much can result in me being too drained to be there for them as much as I’d like to be.

I get emotionally drained often if I don’t give myself the time out and space I need. Whether this is meditating, playing my guitar or going to yoga I can rejuvenate myself and return to using my empathy to give and be there for the people that need me. Us empathic souls need to look after ourselves before we can truly help others. I recognise when I have forgotten about myself now and finally know its ok to put myself first for a change rather than locking myself away when I can’t take anymore. There is a beauty in being so full of love that I know its my truth and I will give it until there is nothing left. It is the greatest burden at times because I have to learn when it can get detrimental to myself, it is also the greatest gift – it allows me to just keep learning!

I have now gotta remember that I in fact AM good enough for the great things coming my way. All the love that I give, I am also worthy of receiving. These top grades that I am working so hard to get in the bag WILL get me to where I wanna be because I deserve success and I deserve to make sure the fears I feel do not get in my way, EVER!

Thanks for reading & all my love,

Mia XXX

Bye negativity, hello world!

Hey lovelies,

Family arguments are not the best when I value family above all else. I know now where I need to put my energy and where its worth it. I don’t love by half!!! I am full of it! This makes me rare and I wanna put my energy where people value it.

I know where I want to be in a years time. Now I know how to get there, I’m cutting off people who are draining me of my energy. I’m fed up and tired (to the point where I’ve wanted to lock myself away and sleep for a week haha) and now I understand why. I feel like I’m a healer. I constantly want to look within and see the good in others and I think my energy and power threatens those who feel trapped in their own shit and are genuinely negative because that’s all they know (because being pos is actually a harder task) I get that.

I can’t teach everyone how to be positive and see sunshine like I do. (Don’t get me wrong I have my bad days too, lately I’ve been too anxious to smile!) However, I work hard to know myself and I have worked hard to get to this place. F*** it if people don’t get it to be honest. They don’t have to. Don’t let people use you as a mirror for their own self hatred, cut them off!

I need a growth mindset, i.e I need to keep on loving and learning and keep in the fore front of my mind what is most important to me. I am so sensitive to energy. I feel it when people are sad, I feel it when people are happy and I feel it when the world is in turmoil. I love dancing around the house with my sisters on a family girls night but when someone continues to play the victim in my life and attempt to suck this energy out of me, I genuinely can’t cope with their baggage. I have enough to carry!!

No more people pleasing and no more being guilt tripped into placing my energy where it clearly does not belong. I need positive and my future self will thank me for that. I am doing me and I am putting my self first, making myself happy for a change! Sometimes I get sucked in to a place where I feel horrible, not because of myself but because I was surrounded by people that refused to stop talking about the past and unresolved issues within themselves. STILL looking from the outside in, looking for a scapegoat to blame so they don’t have to take responsibility for their own lives.

Well, I’m no longer letting this be a part of my life. Bye fake people, bye negativity and hello to doing what I love with the people around me who value me. Things were getting too much for me and Its time to free myself from the burden and continue to work on me and get to where I deserve! This little storm came to shake things up for the better.

Much love and PROTECT YO ENERGY, you’re too magical to carry someone elses bullshit,

Mia XXX

Surrendering to change

Change. Its a part of life. Sometimes completely out of the blue, sometimes looming in the distance, so close we could touch it. In a previous post I spoke about Uni and how change is just around the corner. Exciting! But on the other hand, I’ve never felt anxiety and fear of the unknown like it. Its natural to struggle with emotion. Anxious minds paint the untruest of pictures and the more I focus on the lack of clarity, the lack of confidence or belief in myself, the lack just keeps on growing.

Everyone has those days when the positive seems so far away. Just know, we are all human and the one truth is love in life, all else is a plead for healing. Love can be disguised as a lack of control over the future arises. However, when we focus on love rather than a lack as mentioned above, love will keep growing and we will see the love surrounding us in all areas of our lives.

At the moment returning to love is taking the time to myself. I had forgotten the importance of meditation to me and the importance and the beauty of silence. Attempting to lengthen the spaces in between each thought that arises. And call me a hippie but Yoga, well I love it. Returning to both has happened in divine timing as a method of escape, pausing and knowing it is ok to take a breather and not run ourselves to exhaustion because we haven’t taken care of ourselves.

We are always so busy doing, it seems to slip our minds that we need to just ‘be’ every now and then! Making this a part of my routine again has been such a release and such a way out of the stream of thought.

External changes being inevitable, internal ones seem constant. To continue growing and for internal change to happen for the greatest good, small plans of action are made and brought upon myself. I am determined to continue accepting my anxiety – it seems to be my greatest downfall and storm currently. However, like them all, this will pass and its important to find within myself the lesson that the feeling has arrived to teach me. As well as showing me the strength I hold (we all hold) to overcome everything that comes my way.

Exposure of feeling is change in motion and because I am trying I am proud of how far I have travelled through the journey of self growth and facing, head on, my demons and my feelings. If we ignore and repress them they come back in mysterious ways, creeping up on us in other forms. Its best to be brave and feel, an ongoing theme that seems to flow out when I write. Maybe because it really strikes me how much I managed to pull myself through when I simply just stopped denying how I truly felt. Don’t get me wrong, avoidance behaviour creeps back in but all I can do is note it, then try, try and try again to forgive myself and attempt to contemplate growth and change as a key part of life and my journey.

When change is hard, know you are only getting stronger. This is in the forefront of my mind as I continue to take each day as it comes. Remembering that I am only doing the very best I can and so is everyone else with what they know. Live life with a zest that is yours and choose to thrive in your own growth as well as the external changes that are propelled upon us. With every new day a new perspective is welcomed, along with change. I hope my perspective today is exactly what someone reading this needed to hear.

It is slowly becoming evident that whilst encouraging others, I am encouraging myself to keep going and keep on embracing change and all the inspiration it brings to my life.

All my love,

Mia Xx

The Circle of Comparison

I believe we come complete. Everyone has an authenticity and a gift that they are destined to find or maybe not in some cases. Whether we do realise we hold something that no other has or not, we often go searching for it in others, in things external to ourselves when we already hold it signed and sealed by the universe! Therefore, there’s no need to try and fill in a missing piece by looking elsewhere. I’m glad to say that you held it within all along.

Life is a journey, not a race or a competition. So why do we compare ourselves to others? Why are us girls especially taught that we should compete for the attention of men? Sometimes a sense of inadequacy can arise in our consciousness and we can feel as if we have fallen short. We see false ideologies of ‘perfection’ on social media everyday. Leading us to pursue an image that is impossible to reach. As well as that we often compare ourselves to friends, family members or people from our pasts. Be it a friend who knows what their dream job is ALREADY and you just have no clue or a girl at work with perfect skin. I most certainly have experienced this and have chosen to feel inferior due to not being at that point as of yet. Slowly however, I am learning that my journey is totally different to anyone else’s and I will solve my own puzzles in the timing that is perfect for my journey, as will you!

Self comparison is a trap. We all do it, through our looks, our education, our popularity. The list could go on and on. What is important to remember is that we are all the same at the end of the day and we are all impermanent beings on a temporary home. (Although us humans have completely taken over) Using others as a measuring rod is self destructive and when a few weeks ago when my eldest sister turned for guidance it all became clear that we all experience it at some point. Its not easy being different and viewing the world differently. An aspect of being that my mum especially encourages. “Accept that you’re not a clone she’d say.” 

I have never been a frock kinda gal. Neither do I find pleasure in wearing make up or feeling the need to do so. I’m comfortable and accepting of this now but sometimes the pressures of advertising and the pictures on my Instagram feed make me question why. Society has instilled a perfect image into my mind, one in which I am made to desire. If we don’t meet the criteria, we are made to feel not good enough and deficient of something. This is utterly ridiculous to me now and is another illusion brought about by the powerful influencers of our society.

“Because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her.”                                 – Lao Tzu

Please step away from comparison and competition and choose compassion and care toward yourself first, then this will flow to others secondly and naturally. 

Let yourself shine, glow and just be. Its easier said than done, I know this because I have felt the annoyance as a reaction to someone telling me to ‘just be yourself.’ The word ‘just’ implying that its an easy task! Isn’t that pure jokes. It may take a while or one day it may hit you like a tonne of bricks. Either way its key to allow yourself to stop comparing and allow yourself to step away from the area around your toes and delve deep into getting to know yourself.

As Ghandi said, “your life is your message” – Its not as if we have a spare. Its time to stop berating ourselves because what is perfect? Be your own version of perfect and step outside the circle of comparison.

Lots of love,

Mia Xx